Taking the “High Road” During Divorce Benefits the Children

Divorce is never easy for anyone, especially for the children involved.  But the good news is that parents are perfectly able to take the “high road” during the process and settle their divorce dispute through Alternative Resolution Methods (ARM).  Even if you think staying together might be the best option, when parents are unable to work out their marital differences, divorce is often a better choice than to subject your household (and your children) to embittered fights and constant stress by trying to stay together for the sake of the kids.

Conflict plays such an important role in this decision because research shows that the level of conflict between parents—conflict that the children are exposed to—will mean the difference between the children’s ability to adjust well to the divorce or not adjust well.   When children see constant fighting between their parents, this has a significant effect on their well-being and sense of stability—whether the parents are divorced or not.   For this reason alone, avoiding obvious fights and arguments that can be overheard or sensed by your children should be your primary goal when considering divorce and undergoing the process of finalizing it.

Research also shows that children adjust better to a separation and divorce if parents adjust well.  If a parent undergoes intense psychological distress during a divorce, it is highly likely that the children involved will do the same because children look to their parents to know how to react to circumstances.  That’s why New York mediation and New Jersey mediation helps families to such an extent when they are going through this process—mediation encourages open communication between parties to determine the best course of action and discourages increased bitterness that is a result of a legal battle.

By choosing to mediate rather than battling it out in the courts, you are increasing your chances of having a discrete process that will leave both parties satisfied and be easier on the children in the process.  Divorce mediation is a process that can help both parents come to a fair and reasonable agreement on all matters regarding property, custody and the future decisions that will be made for the children’s best interest.

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